I wrote this from a very raw space and I have made the choice not to edit it. We agreed I would stay at home as long as I was comfortable. That's what they felt like. The ways this question usually gets answered leave women out of the loop. It wasn’t the birth I had hoped for so second time around I was excited at the prospect of experiencing contractions and going into labour.A horrendous first birth experience left me really down and doubtful of my abilities as a mother (continuous foetal monitoring, stuck on my back, failed epidural, ventouse, forceps and ending in postpartum hemmorhage). I much prefer active labour and in fact welcome it.When a mother arrives in hospital and is contracting, a vaginal examination is offered as standard.Take a look at this picture. Timed at about 10-13 mins apart. What follows is a story which could have been very different, but thankfully the stars aligned.When a woman decides not to breastfeed, there is no need, at all, to justify that decision. I didn’t have those with my first son, and felt number 2 was on his way earlier than scheduled.I had my son Tom in the Midwife led unit at Queen Charlotte's. On the day itself, a kind of helplessness.Everyone told us the chances are our baby will come later than the due date, so I was counting on having at least two, if not five weeks of good rest and eating biscuits at home. But if that was the key, why is it so many women who've had previous caesareans, often involving a lot of trauma, also have a simple, wonderful time of it?In order to tell my positive birth story, you need to understand where my head was at when I first found out I was pregnant. With the next push the body slid out and I caught my baby and put her on my chest, looking at her with disbelief.I was nervous about the birth of my first baby from the moment I found out I was pregnant and those nerves came and went in waves throughout pregnancy. Growing change, her baby moving down, increasing pressure and intensity. Each scan was so stressful, we were constantly worrying if everything would be ok. After monthly scans we arrived at the 36 week scan and were advised by the consultant that we should be induced the following week as the baby was small.Getting comfortable in labour - I mean really comfortable - isn't something I find many pregnant women give much thought to.I have been a doula for many years, I have supported hundreds and hundreds of mothers in birth and never yet have I heard ONE woman regret the decision to have a midwife come to them and from there, just SEE...Birth for low risk women is very safe. I knew that would be where I would feel most comfortable and in control. Truly. But having gone through the experience I can honestly say birth was so intense and internalised, I didn't have any concern for where I was or any sense it was impacting on my mood and I ended up giving birth in a weird overspill room with all the lights on! and I was determined to make the caesarean a more positive experience. Being surrounded by these women and their positive birth experiences really made me wish to go for ‘the whole thing’, I wanted to feel it all, I wanted to follow my intuition at all times, to take my time and I wanted to be left alone with my partner and minimise the possibility of having unnecessary interventions. I found out about the the importance of being in a calm and comfortable place to give birth. 3 years on I knew my second birth would have to be different....I had had period-like cramps on and off in the weeks running up to the birth. some of the biggest, we can’t get enough of these unique birth stories. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made.I am mother to four children. Each birth has been different in its own ways, but all really positive experiences and pretty straight forward too.Nino was born 5 days after his due date. From the very beginning I knew I wanted a homebirth. Please remember I was exhausted and in shock when she was born, and as a result some details may be missing or confused. This wasn't a big issue for me as I found a doula and immediately connected with her and trusted her as my birth partner.This is my absolute favourite photo as I slept in the birthing pool. My birth story started in the middle of the night, five days before my due date. You’ll have to read these shocking and surprising pregnancy and birth stories to believe them!
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